What is Conscious Parenting and how can it benefit you as a parent & your kids?
Conscious Parenting is about you, as a parent beeing mindful and willing to grow on a daily basis. It is all about reflecting yourself and putting your ego for in the back. Our children are a mirror to ourselves. They reflect exactly, how we feel inside. Once you have practiced for a few days, weeks it will become more and more clear to you. I have a big smile on my face, everytime I think of it. Conscious parenting and the mindfulness which you practice with it is also very beneficial in other areas of life. It reduces stress, therefor it decreases blood pressure, anxiety and helps you beeing much calmer. It also helps parents and kids to communicate openly, honestly and more loving on a regular basis. It supports you beeing truely connected to your children and therefor having less trouble and more understanding of each other.
Conscious parenting involves the children in certain decisions about them (kids as young as 3+). It means staying in the moment at all times. It doesn`t mean not giving any consequences, it does mean, no punishment (no blame, shame or pain)!
Here are a few key elements of conscious parenting:
Parenting is a relationship between the child and the parent. We as parents can learn from our children, just as they learn from us.
Conscious Parenting is about letting go of the Ego (parents), your desires for your child and also your attachments.
A parents ego can hinder the child from growing into a secure, healthy, authentic, self-confident adult
Children are unique beeings, our children are not us and we don`t own them.
Parents should put their focus mainly on there own thoughts, feelings, patterns and behaviours. To put it in two words: Self-Awareness and Self-Management
We as parents should establish clear boundaries from the beginning and use positive reinforcement instead of punishment towards our children.
Looking at the whole picture of a problem. No temporarily solutions. When did the problem first accur, what led to it and how can we make sure, we solve this permanently.
Beeing a parent who is an active listener, without disruptions during the conversation. Fully focused on the child.
What it means to involve your kids in choosing their consequences?
THE CONSEQUENCES SHOULD RELATE TO THE MISSBEHAVIOUR
THE CONSEQUENCES SHOULD BE REASONABLE
THE CONSEQUENCES SHOULD BE REVEALED IN ADVANCE (if possible)
Beeing respectful means not shouting at your kids, not swearing and even when the heat is on, to take a deep breath so you don`t react, you respond. Sometimes it is not nesseccary to respond immediately. If that is the case, you can reflect on the situation and look inside yourself, maybe your child has just mirrored you or triggered you in some kind of way. Once you have calmed yourself down, you will respond in a loving and peaceful way. Instead of reacting. If you react, your child will shut down!
Consequences which relate a related consequence could be i.g. Your child refuses to clean up his/her room. As a consequence he/she doesn`t get any new toys. You communicate this to your child in the moment so it knows that this is what`s going to happen, if it doesn`t clean up the room. This way you leave the choice to your child and don`t force it. If you can not find related consequence, than consequence might not be the right approach in this case.
Reasonable consequences means that it is according to your childs age and development.
Consequences revealed in advance: Like in the example above.
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