Why Relationships &

Most people think relationships/marriages fail/end because the love its gone! But it`s not true.

All of us need connection and love.
It belongs to our six human needs.
It doesn`t matter if we are
adults or children.
Without connection, we simply die!

Why relationships/marriages fail! Love needs connection. Not all relationships/marriages end, because the love is gone! Actually in numerous cases it is because of lack of intimacy and connection. This also goes for parents and their kids. Once you lose connection, you`ve lost! The other person shuts down and you can`t reach them anymore. In a lot of relationships/marriages both basically live their own lifes and don`t have a union anymore. Maybe live in the same household, but might as well not. Remember how it used to be in the beginning of your relationship, I bet you were willing to do almost everything for your partner and wanting to spend as much time with them as possible. You were curious about each other, willing to take on the world together and the other couldn`t do anything wrong. Do you remember? Why did all of this change?

All relationships get to an average state
after you`ve been together for a while.
It can`t be exciting anymore!

Not because you`ve been together for a while now. That can`t be the reason, because there are couples who`ve been together for 50 years and still act the same as in the beginning. Those are the happy and fulfilled couples, where love still grows and their relationship extends every day. Your relationship reflects the emotional state you are normally in! Your emotional home! Once you get into your head and are not in your heart anymore, your relationship is dead. Your head is always looking for mistakes, criticism. It`s acting out of our survival brain (reptile brain) and that wants to protect us at all costs. It is suspicious, even making up stories if it doesn`t know something for sure, even out of little things. Those stories are never positive! If you want a successful, long lasting, blissful and happy, fulfilled relationship, you have to stay in your heart the majority of the time. Your heart is also where compassion and empathy lives, as well as love. If you stay curious with each other and follow your hearts, stay open, honest, vulnerable, joyfull, silly, playful and connected with enough intimacy, willing to always be the best version for your partner, your relationship/marriage will never fail.

No more arguments or disagreements?

Of course you are still going to have arguments or disagree in things, but that doesn`t matter, you will stay out of your ego and be able to laugh about it afterwords. If you find it hard to love and understand your partner sometimes, or to just be nice to them, just close your eyes and think of a lovely moment with them and get into the feeling, you had then. Try it out, it really works everytime!

Books: Esther Perel