The 6 Human Needs (Tony Robbins)


1. Certainty/Comfort
2. Variety
3. Significance
4. Love & Connection
5. Growth
6. Contribution


My mentor Anthony Robbins,  with whom I did my Life Coaching training and certification, created this concept by expanding Abraham Maslow (pyramid of needs). Over the last 43 years he has coached, observed and helped countless people worldwide to reach their highest potential. No matter what your goals are: These 6 human needs explain what is behind our behavior and behind the questionable things we do as well as the great ones.

According to Tony we all have the same  basic needs. How we evaluate them, how we fulfill them and in what order we live these, determines the direction our lives take.

Certainty / Comfort

Requirement for certainty. We always want to be in control of our lives, so we want to know what is coming in order to feel safe! Security, pleasure, comfort and avoiding pain and stress. At the same time our need for security is of course a survival mechanism. So it also affects how willing we are to take risks in our relationships, jobs etc. The higher your need for security, the lower your risk taking and the lower your willingness to get out of your comfort zone. Our decisions almost always depend on how high our need for security is!


None of us wants to experience the same thing all the time. We need variety. Especially in our relationships it gets extremely boring when we experience the same every day. We need at least some excitement and surprises. 


Each of us wants to feel important and special. We want to be appreciated. To be seen and not ignored. We want to be special to our partner and not just anybody.

Love & Connection

Love is the oxygen of life, without love we die like a plant that doesn`t  get water. We want to be loved and give love. We want touch, tenderness, sex. We want to connect with people, have friends, meet with them and laugh together, talk, just spend Quality-Time with them. Especially with our spouse and family.

These first 4 needs are those of our personality. The last 2 that come now are those of our spirit, our soul! When these are fulfilled we are truly fulfilled and happy and only then. There are also people who run away from fulfilling them.


He who does not grow dies! This is our potential. Without growing we can never reach our full potential. If a relationship does not grow, it is boring and one or both  will eventualy break out at some point. We should learn and not be on the same level as we were years ago. We are born to develop ourselves spiritually, our soul is crying for us to learn and grow. Learn to truly love ourselves and others. To develop and use our talents and gifts to become the best version of ourselves. So if you want to experience true happiness, fulfilment, love and contentment and want to truly live, you should take care of your inner growth.

People who don’t strive for it are addicted to getting more and more in the outside world and no matter how much they have, they are never satisfied. It must always be more than they have. This applies to material things as well as in relationships (the man or the woman).


To make a contribution to humanity. It may sound a little strange, but the great secret of life is giving without expecting anything in return! We are all connected, because we all come from the same source. Whether you call it God, the higher self, the universe, nature or whatever. It is not the I but the WE that counts. Especially the current Corona time reminds us that we are all in the same boat. Therefore we should all, each and every one of us, make sure that our boat stays healed or gets repaired and doesn’t sink.

Also in your relationship you should make contributions that are not selfish, but simply because you love your husband and know that he likes it.

I don’t mean anything that goes against your values or feelings!